洞察實驗室手記

本篇綱要：看法呼應著一個人過去經驗, 個性, 信念的總和, 改變看法就好比在牛角尖裡掉頭, 著實不易,  有人說退一步海闊天空, 其實原地轉個方向就海闊天空了, 這篇是我研究 International Coach Academy 的教材(Perspective)加上過去的實務經驗的感想, 與你分享, 歡迎留言討論。

[Impressive lines and take-outs from the Document_perspective]

®              How powerful a coach will be when coaching changes a client’s(coachee’s) life.  Not by changing all their circumstances – which clients are busily trying to do so – but by REFRAMING their perspective.

®              People’s perspective determines the experience in life, not the circumstances.

®              The Reframing process is to get clear on the current perspective and shift into a more empowering one.  A powerful coach helps the client in the reframing process, so the client is empowered by the fresh perspective that creates by himself/herself.

®              To discern the current perspective depends on the powerful observation, both from coach and coachee. (to self, it is the ability on self-awareness)

®              The powerful querying can trigger the fresh perspectives.

®              The perspective of judgment dis-empowers the client/ self.

Exercise: Reframe the dis-empowering perspective

• It's too hareà Let's see which part is the hardest one? which part is comparatively easier one.
• Struggle à Let’s see what if we treat it as the in-process one before the success?  What would be the benefit/ positive intention behind it?
• Invalidation à Nice to identify the invalidation part, it will be easier to be focus on the valid part.
• Reaction à Let’s respect the emotion from the reaction and dig out what this reaction was trying to tell us?
• Significance à Let’s see which part of it is the most significant to you? What would happen if it is gone? How would you feel about it?
• Protection àWhat would happen without this protection?  How far could you be if without this protection?  What would be the benefit from the protection? Where else and how you could possibly get the same benefit except it?
• It’s not my fault? à What do you learn from the fault? How it would affect your decision-making?  Will you consider that the affection is positive to you?   How you can make it become positive to you?
• Doubt à Do you mean that you need more time/ more information to figure it out?  Which part caused your doubt?  What would be the positive intention behind the doubt?  If you say yes to it, what would happen to you?   If you say no to it, what would happen to you?
• Low self-esteem à Which the attribute in you that you are happy about it? Describe your lucky day to me?  What makes you feel proud of yourself?  When is it? Could you share more about it?
• Criticism à What would be the positive intention behind the criticism?  Which part of it that can help you becoming a better person? More successful? Doing it better next time?
• Fear à What if the fear is real, what will it affect you in which way(s)?  What attributes are they, which formed the fear?  What part of it that triggers your fear? 

課後反思

• 你認為讓人可以終身受用的三個最有力的觀點為何？

答：其一、對於不可預期的狀況, 永遠相信其背後必定俱備正面的意向。然後問自己我學到了什麼？再來一次的話, 我會改變什麼? 然後就放下舊的包袱, 向前行。其二, 人既不活在過去, 也無法活在未來, 好好地在每一個當下盡其在我。 其三, 相信自己已經有了足夠的資源、永遠可以有所選擇。

• 選一個已經有點時日的難題(不管是自己的還是別人的), 辨別現況並且換個角度詮釋？

答：我的客戶麾下有一名經理, 是個獨善其身, 多一事不如少一事的人, 常常跟平行單位的同事起衝突, 由於這家企業的交叉報告系統, 我的客戶很難指派這名經理嘗試新的做法。 我協助這名客戶從兩個方面reframe(詮釋)現況：其一, 先把同事間起的衝突列下來, 暫放一旁。從正面的角度尋找這名經理的堅持對公司有哪些正面的影響, 如果不這麼做, 會怎麼樣？了解這名經理所擔心事什麼？ 從叫不動這個經理的認知, reframe 成以理性的態度分析做法上的差異背後的原因。

• 如果你是一位擅於 Reframe 自己看法的大師, 你能造就什麼樣的可能性？

答：能夠 Reframe 自己想法的大師, 一定也嫻熟於換位思考, 換到對方的立場思考其面臨的壓力, 背後隱藏的善意等等, 也可以換到不相干的第三者的位置客觀地來看這個事件。不同的角度可能引發想法, 更有創意的找到解決知道。所以, Reframing 等於打開了無限可能的大門。

• 如何(需要什麼)才能獲得完全的快樂與滿足？

答：第一, 必須要有自己的快樂與滿足, 完全基於自己的選擇的絕對認知。第二, 所謂的Reframing new perspective, 就像是相機換不同的鏡頭, 同樣的景物, 主體沒有變, 看到的畫面確大大的不同。有了不同的看法, 就有新的機會。

• 如何協助客戶, 透過改變看法而改變人生的？

答：協助客戶改變看法有個種不同的方式, 由於我過去主要從事品牌顧問/管理顧問等工作, 因此最常用的方式就是直接建議, 說明(有時是說服), 畢竟客戶找我就是要聽聽看我的建議。建議的過程中, 必須要仔細聆聽, 體會客戶擔心, 困惑, 企圖心等等背後的原因, 了解不同的客戶彼此間的差異與期待… 專業的顧問師都明白, 在好的策略建議少了這些 “People skills” 就走不出會議室的門。改變客戶的看法一直是客戶找顧問/教練/引導師/培訓師/導師, 最原始的目的, 就算客戶要的是透過服務確認他原先的想法, 其實他也是想改變自己對自己的決策的信心指數。從事引導師與層峰教練之後, 做的還是協助顧客改變看法一事, 只是這次不用建議的, 用的是鼓勵的妙方, 給與客戶支持與勇氣, 戴上不同的鏡頭, 從不同的角度, 來看同樣的人事物。怎麼做？透過尋找事件背後的正面意向是很有力的做法, 有時我也會用處底反彈法, 最糟糕的狀況去看機會, 或是用角色扮演來發學新的方向, 時光回溯也是好用的技巧。想知道更多請留言。